I've moved a few times in my life readers. Despite my family being from Pittsburgh, I lived for my first five month's on God's green Earth in a little place known as Binghamton, New York. After that I lived in Pittsburgh, bounced to Baltimore, and came back to Pittsburgh where I shall hopefully remain forever. What a town. Anyway, there's totally a point coming: my eldest brother made his presence known in the neighborhood we moved into very quickly in Baltimore. You see, it was Baltimore, so of course there were dregs of society all around. Now, one cold winter's day, some asshat was pelting a girl from the neighborhood with snow balls as she tried to go about her day. She politely asked him to stop. He did not. My brother went enforcer on him. Throw snow balls back? No, that's what he's already doing, got to take it to the next level.
You ever had your head shoved into a trash can full of snow? Had it dumped on you? It ain't pleasant. It puts an end to crap without bloodshed. It's a dope move. So, while the girl's mother was asking my mother if my brother were single, one thing was known about this family: they were legit and became part of the neighborhood.
Coming to a new hockey team is the same thing. Mike Comrie shows up when he has to for the Penguins. Here's Kris Letang, heralded as one of our showcase defensemen, someone to be protected, someone who you don't let other teams take advantage of. Maxim Lapierre takes a run at Kris Letang, Comrie doesn't like it.
Welcome to Pittsburgh, Mike.
Lapierre is already going to the box for charging here, but Comrie sends an extra message, you're going to have to pay the price if you want to play that kind of chippy affair. Perhaps the message is received, perhaps it isn't. But, do you think all the guys on the Penguin bench didn't receive a message even if Max Lapierre didn't? Every one on that bench took notice. All the Penguin mothers are asking Mike Comrie if he's sin-WOA! Too close to talking about that thing I said I wouldn't talk about.
Anyway, this game was exactly what the Flyer game was supposed to be. I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't write about the game against the Flyers, the first at the CEC! The pageantry! The glory! The twenty-two combined penalty minutes and no fights! Wait, what? Yeah, fuck that game, wasn't a real game against the Flyers, nope, doesn't count.
Anyhoo, this game was a chippy game, a "tough scrabble," game as our Vice-President would say. Everyone got a little bit of that vengeance they wanted, mostly against P.K. Subban.
Every one says it's an accident, and it totally is. But, with Jordan Staal still on the shelf? I kind of wish it wasn't. Now, I don't wish injury on people...usually...but, do I wish a "Nagging Injury that Forces You To Miss Time On the Ice But Doesn't Effect Your Life Otherwise?" Well...
[Getty Images]
[Getty Images]
Can't say I'd be too upset if he wasn't playing against those two. Dude's a fierce competitor...just like that guy who's foot he kicked...
I ain't sorry Subban.
You know who didn't get any vengeance? Max fucking Talbot. Dude gets taken advantage by opposing teams pests than female interns at Vogue Magazine. Max Lapierre, as previously mentioned, fought Mike Comrie for his charge early in the game. Max Talbot tries to get in the act, but instead Lapierre just shakes his gloves at him and then takes a few punches, skating away laughing. Have fun in the box, Superstar. Sound familiar? Sound like Ruutu? Sound like Cooke? There's no video of Lapierre making Talbot look like a clown, so I'll just post this instead:
You mad? Cause I sure as Hell am. What a smug bastard.
God damn would he look good in Black and Gold though...
I like the Twilight Zone, readers. It's got a sweet opening theme song, it's got insane episodes about insane stuff, and it being referenced as "The Scary Door," in Futurama is one of my favorite running jokes in that series. So, when I say the games against Columbus where my own personal, goon related, Twilight Zone? I want you to know where I'm coming from.
Flash it back to September 24th and LOOK at the players dressed for that game: Craig Adams, Arron Asham, Matt Cooke, Deryk Engelland, Eric Godard, Mike Rupp, and Max Talbot. A feast of goons and pests fit for a King, there will be fights, scuffles, hatred, everything. Let's just take a gander at this here box score so I can figure out long this post is going to me...wait a second.
No fights? None? Zilch? Zip? Nada? Goose egg?
You're got to be fucking kidding me! Stunned doesn't even begin to describe how I felt about this game. No fights at all in a preseason game against a fake rival.
What a disappointment, I guess the game the next day didn't have any fights either, what with so many non goons dressing...wait what?
Five fucking fights?
A day after a goon's delight is ruined you give me five fucking fights? Let's get at it. We'll start with Kris Letang, who might be the craziest person I have ever seen in a preseason game.
I'm all for the skill guys sticking up for themselves now and then. But I like them doing for the right reason. While it's totally badass that Kris Letang handles his own and wins BOTH of these fights, his mind is clearly not on playing good hockey. In the second fight you can hear the announcers talking about who is getting under whose skin because of all this. I lean towards Steiggy on this one, Letang was out of his mind for this game. In addition to his two fights, Letang was stick fighting people all night. There is nothing I deplore more than people using their sticks as weapons. A crosscheck here and there keeps a man honest, but when they come up around the face like Letang's often does when he gets in one of his temper tantrums? That's where I draw the line. How long until we see another one of these incidents again?
Fucking stupid. Kris Letang: If you're going to fight, fight. Don't go halfway about it waving your stick at people's head predominantly and only SOMETIMES dropping the gloves. You're a pro hockey player, you're better than that. Hell, I don't think you should be fighting at all, let Eric Godard or Mike Rupp or Arron Asham or Craig Adams or Max Talbot or Matt Cooke go handle that business for you. You worry about putting on sniper shows with your wrist shot...when you can hit the net, that is... These guys get paid to look out for you so you can do what you do. You know why Sidney Crosby only has a handful of career fights? Because he's too fucking busy using his hands to score a shit load of goals. Maybe you should do the same, Letang.
Furthermore, it's not like Letang's fight had any purpose to them at all. Both of them were just two players with tempers that decided to drop them for no apparent reason. A check they didn't like too much, an unnecessary crosscheck, and then they went at it. They're good scraps kid, I liked 'em, keep the stick down and a cool temper, fight once in a blue moon? We'll be all right. Keep throwing temper tantrums? I'll keep doggin' ya.
[AP]
This picture is pretty fucking unreal, though. Get some.
Surprisingly, Evgeni Malkin's fight was ALMOST in the right mold. I say ALMOST because while it's good for Malkin to answer the bell against someone who took a run at him earlier in the game, again I'd like to see him using his hands to pocket those one timers I love seeing him score rather than punching dudes. Unfortunately, one of those unwritten rules of The Code is all about goons not fighting superstars, so while I'd have loved to see Eric Godard swing Rick Nash around and sock him in the face, it wasn't going to happen. Evgeni Malkin stepped up like a champ for himself, though.
No replay of the hit Nash laid on Malkin earlier in the game. The Pens announcers however talk about Nash running Malkin and the elbow laid on Malkin and this and that. Malkin stepped up in a big way for himself, I just hope he doesn't make a habit of it. Neck thing you know he'll be pulling a Ruslan Fedotenko, hotter than a two dollar pistol, then this happens:
Broken hand. Just like that. Stay away from those fights for me, eh Geno?
Leave it to the pros and the guys fighting for a roster spot.
It is so good to see Eric Godard dropping the gloves. Godard dropping the gloves does a lot of things: scares the crap outta people seeing a huge dude dropping bombs but more to our team's own importance, getting them back on task. At this point in the game, that is when Godard dropped his gloves, the Penguins were running around unfocused, taking runs, getting hit and retaliating, and finding themselves down 1-0. The rest of the second period, until Brooks Orpik took a penalty as time expired, the Penguins fought back with some good puck play and tied it up at one. A heavyweight bought brings the fans back into the game, and refocuses a team. Why do you think you see guys shouting "Let's Go!" so often after a fight?
I got no problem with Timmy Wallace. I think he's a solid grinder that'll play in the AHL and get some starts in the NHL now and then. The fact that he fights is just icing on the cake. What is even better, is that he fights without fear. Adding Derek Dorsett, a guy who has 27 career fights in the NHL, to a fight card that already had Milan Lucic on it, gives me a lot of respect for the Alaskan. He won't get a lot of playing time in the NHL with so many ahead of him in the pipeline, but he'll come with a ton of heart every time he gets a shot.
With dudes like Godard, Rupp, and Asham and AHL guys looking for a spot like Wallace and Engelland, there is no need for people like Kris Letang, Evgeni Malkin, or Sidney Crosby to fight. It's pretty fucking cool in the moment because you never see it and you're stoked to see it happen, but it ain't so cool when he breaks his hand or gets his clock cleaned. You worry about pounding pucks between the 4X6. Let Eric Godard worry about pounding faces.
Where the fuck did the Summer go? I mean, I absolutely love that Summer apparently went somewhere all of a sudden and it went from 90 degrees to me having to wear a sweatshirt in roughly six hours, but still, what the Hell happened? Suddenly leaves are on the ground, stupid yinzers are only talking about the Steelers, ladies everywhere are downing Pumpkin Spice lattes like it doesn't even matter, and those annoying summer temps are back at their high schools and colleges.
I'm not missing anything am I? I think I covered it all...wait...
[AP]
[AP]
Oh. My. God. Did anyone else know this was going on? Oh, hockey, you wonderful lady, how I have missed you. So, let's get right to the action, because that's what you're here for right? Fisticuffs? Knuckles sandwiches? Ice skating dudes beating the piss out of each other? Good, I thought so.
We come first, of course, to Jesse Boulerice. Boulerice is perhaps the definition of preseason fighters, a dude who drops the gloves, has been in the league for a long time, and is just looking for his chance to place some more puck, wherever it may be. Cause, really, if you want to describe Jesse Boulerice's career...other than his violent outbursts...you might as well just ask the Original Man in Black.
Boulerice knows exactly what he's supposed to do. Skate hard every shift, fight for dudes no matter what, and avenge his own fights...like this one...
Gorf...
But, the dude comes back for more. Now, me? Personally if some guy totally and utterly cleaned my clock with one punch, I'd probably say things like, "Let's not fight again. My face is still reeling from the last punch you threw at me. How bout a beer?" I'm not one for fighting dudes that beat the shit out of me already. That's why I'm not an enforcer. Jesse Boulerice is. Jesse Boulerice comes back in a big way.
Boulerice knows it's a man's game, and comes back in stout fashion:
[Reuters]
Unreal. For a moment, let us enjoy this crisp photo. I think it's something special at the CEC that gets overlooked: photography. With basically an unobstructed scope of vision from EVERYWHERE in the arena, press photography of Pittsburgh Penguins game are going to be gorgeous, with cameramen able to snipe shots like this from anywhere they want at anytime they want. Going to be a golden era of hockey photography at the CEC.
Really, did you expect anything else? Two dudes letting their respective managements know that even though they might not dress, might not even be with the big club, they're ready to take some grenades in the trenches when they need to. Say Godard, God forbid, doesn't make the Penguins roster. Say Rupp is hurt too for some reason. So, where are we going to turn? Being able to call up a dude like Boulerice when the Flyers or Rangers are coming to town is a nice thing to have in your pocket. He'll be forgotten about by your average Pens fan, but he'll still be huge if we need him to be.
The game itself, how great was it? No one except die hard Penguin fans will remember this along with Oct. 7th as the "first," game at the CEC, but it was still a wonderful experience. Don't believe me? Just look at this face from Mike Babcock:
[AP]
Bitter beer face!
Consider this in relation to...
[AP]
Pimp City. Population: That Guy. You think the game wasn't important to both of those teams? The stars of the Penguins playing in the game? The heavy checking in the first preseason game? These two teams are perhaps not bitter rivals like Pittsburgh and Philly or Detroit and Colorado, but with a lot of headline players that played in both of the Stanley Cup Finals still around, they have a chip on their collective shoulders. For that to be the first preseason game? What more could you want.
It's simple arithmetic folks, more photos of that face=more awesome times.
Did anyone really think anything else was possible? After the two monster signings of Martin and Michalek, what was left for Ray Shero to do? Holes at forward with Fedotenko, Guerin, and Ponikarovsky all moving on needed to be plugged but what could Shero do with only pocket change to sign some forwards. It seems at long last, rather than signing the old dudes in the hopes that they plug it up for a season or two; Ziggy "Stardust," Palffy, Mark Recchi, John LeClair, Gary Roberts, Bill Guerin, etc., the Penguins are finally going to try and let their young forwards; Eric Tangradi, Mark Letestu, and Dustin Jeffrey, take every shot at cracking the first and second lines to fill in the question marks on the top to lines.
The third and fourth line? No question marks there except who is going to play night in night out. There are plenty of of players for those 3rd and 4th lines: Craig Adams, Matt Cooke, Eric Godard, Tyler Kennedy, Mike Rupp, and Max Talbot will be joined by Arron Asham and Mike Comrie to give Disco Dan Bylsma plenty of options amongst his grinders, penalty killers, and all around forces of nature. Out of these players, Comrie has the best shot to make it into the top two lines however he could fit anywhere, but more on that later.
So, who is going to play? Earlier this off season, Jody Shelley came to Philadelphia and Derek Boogaard has come to New York so I fully expect #28 to suit up when we play them at the very least. With Colton Orr in Toronto and last seasons fighting major leader, Zenon Konopka signing with the Islanders, we may even see Godard more than that. Godard's growing importance to the team has already been discussed though so let's move on to our two new boys.
Arron Asham
Everyone wants to focus on what Asham did in the playoffs for the Flyers last year when considering what he could possibly be for the Pittsburgh Penguins. Asham, however, could be putting up some huge numbers for the Penguins if you look at some of his even older numbers. Consider that Mike Rupp had easily his greatest season with the Penguins last year, pocketing 13 goals and 19 points when he never had more than 10 goals in his 9 year NHL career. Asham, who will probably get the same treatment Rupp got, (the odd matchup line change where Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, or maybe even Jordan Staal), has the possibility of putting up even bigger numbers. Asham has four seasons with 10 or more goals with a career high of 15 in 2002-2003 with the Islanders. I expect some fireworks from Asham this season, and not just from his fists:
We all know how I feel about Colby Armstrong. Seeing Asham immediately jump in, a guy who fights heavyweights like Rupp and super heavyweights like Orr, and beat the snot outta some snot nosed cheap shot middle weight like Armstrong for throwing a cheap shot is fantastic. You CANNOT have enough protect for the Penguin superstars. When Godard isn't in the line up, you obviously lose something with Asham in physicality and enforcing. But, Asham will bring a better offensive skills and isn't a GIANT drop off from Godard's fist. You like to see Godard in games when the opponent has a big time enforcer such as everyone in the Atlantic seems to have now, but against other teams, a combination of Asham and Rupp should suffice.
Plus, he looks like he could play Vincent Vega in a Pulp Fiction remake:
"I ain't your friend, palooka."
Mike Comrie
I don't care about Hilary Duff. Comrie has always been a player I have had a respect for because he plays the game hard, gets dirty, scores goals, fights, everything. Looking around the great vastness of the internet, in between all the mouth breathing and soul sucking crap, you'll find some interesting tidbits about this signing: Comrie signing for league minimum, Comrie giving up a lot of money elsewhere to sign with the Pens, Comrie replacing Guerin on Crosby's line, Crosby personally talking to Comrie about coming here and almost instantly congratulating him on his arrival to Pittsburgh. All of these things point to Mike Comrie being hungry like the wolf:
Really, I had no reason to post this song except for forcing the hungry like the wolf reference. Whatever, that song rules, you all suck.
Anyway, Comrie being hungry is going to push people, and I absolutely love it. Tyler Kennedy? Max Talbot? Are you listening? Mike Comrie, as long as he stays healthy is going to push everyone on this squad and has the talent to back it up; 33 goals with Edmonton in 01-02, 20 in 02-03, 30 with Phoenix in 05-06, 21 for with the New York Islanders in 07-08. Even combining the career highs of Tyler Kennedy and Max Talbot doesn't equal Comrie's career high. There's a new grinder in town ladies and gentlemen, and he's got him some hands.
As mentioned, though, Comrie's problem is staying healthy. Comrie has only played 50+ games in a season twice since the lockout. For league minimum though, this is another classic Ray Shero move of "low risk, high reward." Think Janne Pesonen, except, you know, better.
But, enough crap about goals and lame stuff like winning. My favorite thing about Mike Comrie, is, of course, that he fights. It's not just that he fights, it's that he fights with the frame he has. At 5'10", Comrie is the shortest player on the Penguins team yet he still throws down. What is great about his fight card is that while he gets a handful of fights each regular season, he has thrown down in the PREseason many times. Comrie, despite turning 30 years old on September 11th, still plays like a kid fighting for a roster spot. Once again, hungry like the wolf. Adding that kind of grit to a line that already includes Chris Kunitz and the superstar grinder himself, Sidney Crosby, is only going to make great things happen. On top of it all, Crosby still has two guys ready to drop the gloves at a moments notice on his line to stand up for him.
Over the past few days we've seen numerous Pens sites, whether it be tPB or Puck Huffers, reacting to the Pittsburgh Penguins plan to expand their ice crew into essentially what amounts to a cheer leading group of Puck Sluts. I absolutely cannot stand this the same way I don't like sponsored portions of the game, such as the Power Play or Overtime/Shootouts. It is a slight on the game. I understand sex sells, but this is absolutely ludicrous. You can get all the bits and details of why it isn't what the Penguins claim is an expansion of the currents Pens ice crew at Puck Huffers: revealing clothes, modeling experience, looking good. It is not about cleaning up the ice, it is about T and A.
Now, I'm fine with stuff during stoppages. Sometimes the ice needs to get cleaned up a bit, but trying to say that the primary purpose of this
[Reuters]
is the upkeep of the rink is absolutely wrong. It is, as tPB described, the first in what I hope to be few, steps away from "Old Barn Hockey" at the Mellon and the new hockey at the CEC.
I'm all for stuff during the intermissions. Who hasn't been to a Junior league or minor league game and thrown the pucks at the bins scattered around center ice? Or laughed at the slingshot bowling? THOSE are the times for entertainment beyond hockey and even then it should only be side shows like that. If I want T and A I'd go to a strip club, I came to see some hockey.
I will make a qualifying offer, however. You want to have your puck sluts? Fine. I want them to fight. I know, I know, no one wants to see the puck sluts get hurt, (except maybe real female hockey fans), so I'll offer this up.
Tell me you wouldn't watch that. Besides, it's not like they're actually cleaning the ice anyway, they might as well fight for my entertainment. It'll just make me want to see a real fight more, like some sort of tease, or shitty fight before the real main event at a boxing match. Everything's coming up tGB.
Though, there is one thing I will give for the prospect of a Slut Ice Crew: hilarious pictures:
I'm really at the end of the day just a fan of hockey, old time hockey to say the least. I find my favorite players to often be pests and fighters with some of my all time favorites including: Esa Tikkanen, Tie Domi, Jarkko Ruutu, and Eric Godard. A fight and the all around toughness of players is hockey in its purest of forms, and this blog is for them. As for myself, I'm a Pittsburgh Penguins fan, period. No second favorite team, no nothing.
