A Goon's Spin

Over the past few days we've seen numerous Pens sites, whether it be tPB or Puck Huffers, reacting to the Pittsburgh Penguins plan to expand their ice crew into essentially what amounts to a cheer leading group of Puck Sluts. I absolutely cannot stand this the same way I don't like sponsored portions of the game, such as the Power Play or Overtime/Shootouts. It is a slight on the game. I understand sex sells, but this is absolutely ludicrous. You can get all the bits and details of why it isn't what the Penguins claim is an expansion of the currents Pens ice crew at Puck Huffers: revealing clothes, modeling experience, looking good. It is not about cleaning up the ice, it is about T and A.

Now, I'm fine with stuff during stoppages. Sometimes the ice needs to get cleaned up a bit, but trying to say that the primary purpose of this


[Reuters]

is the upkeep of the rink is absolutely wrong. It is, as tPB described, the first in what I hope to be few, steps away from "Old Barn Hockey" at the Mellon and the new hockey at the CEC.

I'm all for stuff during the intermissions. Who hasn't been to a Junior league or minor league game and thrown the pucks at the bins scattered around center ice? Or laughed at the slingshot bowling? THOSE are the times for entertainment beyond hockey and even then it should only be side shows like that. If I want T and A I'd go to a strip club, I came to see some hockey.

I will make a qualifying offer, however. You want to have your puck sluts? Fine. I want them to fight. I know, I know, no one wants to see the puck sluts get hurt, (except maybe real female hockey fans), so I'll offer this up.



Tell me you wouldn't watch that. Besides, it's not like they're actually cleaning the ice anyway, they might as well fight for my entertainment. It'll just make me want to see a real fight more, like some sort of tease, or shitty fight before the real main event at a boxing match. Everything's coming up tGB.

Though, there is one thing I will give for the prospect of a Slut Ice Crew: hilarious pictures:


[Reuters]

I'd like to make a save on THAT, am I right?

Eric Godard is Going to Get Paid

What's up folks? It's been a while. Between manic depression after losing to a team the Penguins had no business losing to (gotta give it up for the heart the Habs showed, though), and a whole manner of other things, most of which is just actually having a job for once, there hasn't been too much time for me to write to my would be readers. For that, I apologize.

So, what's going on? Some sorta free agency thing? That's pretty cool. From a goon standpoint, the Penguins didn't really do much. Last season we signed Mike Rupp, who was about as big time as big time can get for an enforcer signing; dude was huge on the ice for the Pens, and not just fighting. This season we got us some solid defensemen, but not really fighters. In fact, Youtube searches for hits by Zbynek Michalek and Paul Martin yield nothing but dudes crushing them and this:



Barf. It's kind of hard to hate Ian Laperriere, he's a good dude off the ice like most goons are, but he's also a Flyer. We'll call it a push. So, for Martin, at least he can fire a slap shot at dudes if he needs to get a little rough, cause he sure isn't fighting. Paul Martin doesn't even APPEAR in Hockey Fights database, and Zbynek Michalek has but one fight when he was in Junior. Though, Zbynek Michalek is too busy helping his team do this to fight:


[Getty Images]

What are you, trying to score or something? Get outta here.

I wonder about who is going to fight because of the moves made by the other teams in our division. In New York, rather than addressing their young defense corps and small forward crop, they let Jody Shelley, probably one of the guys with the biggest hearts on the team, walk to Philadelphia and replaced him with Derek Boogaard. What's ridiculous about this is not just term (4 years), but amount of money (1.625 million). Eric Godard makes about a million dollars less than that and does the same job. Well, he might do it a little better:



Dude at the forty second mark is still one of the greatest things on the internet. What a face. It is incredible that the Rangers decided to pay this much out a year after giving Donald Brashear 1.3 million dollars. How'd that work out? Less fights than previous years? Sent to the minors? Waived? Something like that. Jody Shelley was certainly an upgrade for New York, but then they let him walk to pay a guy like Derek Boogaard more to do less. Looking at that roster, I can't help but love Glen Sather. Another in a long list of terrible moves. Boogaard is an excellent fighter, great and intimidation, and good at protecting his players. With the tiny forwards on the Rangers, they'll need just that. But, 4 years at 1.625 million dollars? What a joke.

So, it seems Jody Shelley needed to find a new job. In a previous post, I have lauded Jody Shelley for being awesome. Two girl names, tough as nails, all heart. When he played for San Jose he seemed to be the only guy with fire in his eyes. It is ALL out the window now. You're a Philadelphia Flyer now, all bets are off. I don't understand this signing either...I mean, I know why the Flyers did it: because they're still eating up their dinosaur past where they won by having bench clearing brawls more than being a more talented hockey team, but it makes no sense to anyone else. Shelley is a spirited fighter, but on the roster the Flyers already have Riley Cote and Ian Laperriere. In addition to that, Arron Asham perhaps comes back when he signs a new deal and Daniel Carcillo a RFA. Where does Shelley fit in? Why does Shelley fit in? He and the Flyers better find him a place to fit in for 3 years and 1.1 million dollars or else that goalie problem is going to look a lot bigger.

Eric Godard has never gotten the best of Jody Shelley while in a Penguins uniform. Twice he and Shelley have dropped them while Shelley was a member of the San Jose Sharks and twice Shelley convincingly one. Far more distant, Godard bloodied Shelley when Shelley played for Columbus and Godard played for the New York Islanders. But, if you think Godard is thinking about that fight, you're sorely mistaken. He's hopefully thinking about this one:



They chanted his name. Opening night, the Flyers and Shelley come to town. The new arena. Godard, I want your your name to be the first to be chanted in that arena.

These two signings change the game for the Penguins. As it stood prior to these signings, I thought Eric Godard would not be returning after he fulfilled the final year of his contract. Now, with two of the best enforcers coming into the division for the next 3 years at least, Godard's worth to the Penguins has gone up. I would like to see Eric Godard staying in a Penguins uniform after this season; he knows hot to do his job, doesn't complain when he doesn't play, and comes cheap.